One of the greatest Eastern philosophers of all time is Confucius. His lessons are still very accurate and they really might be a great help to you by helping you to clarify or to adjust your own reactions on events that happen in your life. Recently, I found 10 life lessons of this philosopher, which I would like to share with you today, as they can be so helpful in all those big and small occasions which come to you during each day.
- It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.
- Never form a friendship with a man who is not better than you.
- When anger rises, think of the consequences.
- When it is obvious that goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals, but adjust the action steps.
- If you hate a person, then you’re defeated by them.
- What the superior man seeks is in himself; what the small man seeks is in others.
- Wherever you go, go with all your heart.
- Give instructions only to those people who seek knowledge after they have discovered their ignorance.
- Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished.
- If they spit at you behind your back, it means you’re ahead of them.
I used my own, little, life-experience to give a kind of explanation to the rules, as I, like anyone else, learned some lessons in my own life. However, please note these are my own experiences, so your feelings and way of coping might be totally different from mine. Also, may be, I might have misunderstood some of the lessons. In that case I would be delighted if you would share your vision.
‘It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop’.
So important, as moving forward is always better than to quit. Life needs to be lived step by step, and even when you whish going faster this only means missing other steps and opportunities. Just take life as it comes, and never give up your ideals. Once in a while you need to take some time to look back to see what you already have accomplished. When I do so myself, I realize I have very much in my life I ever whished for when I was younger. Some things took a lot of time, and some things were much easier to achieve. But I learned, by being patient, your goals can always be reached.
‘Never form a friendship with a man who is not better than you’ Is someone hurting you, taking away your energy, always asking for your help, but never giving you something in return when you need it? Is his vision totally different from yours and does it hurts you in your heart or are his actions hurting you? Or do you even feel threathened by him? Than he might be no good for you… He even might be using you… Let him go if you feel he is not better than you.
‘When anger rises, think of the consequences’ Anger and actions done in anger are never ok, just take some time off and think about your feelings. Why are you angry? What is the cause of being hurt? Find your own answers. Do not spoil your energy on actions driven by anger. Don’t act in anger…
“When it is obvious that goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals, but adjust the action steps” If you really want to succeed, take it step by step, or even by adding a supplementary step. Or adjust your way to your goal. If you really want to do something, you are capable of doing it. As ‘rule one’ says: it does not matter how long as it takes, just do not quit.
“If you hate a person, then you’re defeated by them” If you allow people to get under your skin and fight to you all day, taking over your pleasure in the things you do….you really are defeated by them. But it is so useless! Just let those people go. Just go on with your own life, your beautiful plans and try to forgive them. Forgiveness does not mean you are beaten, neither are you allowing and supporting ones actions when forgiving something to someone. It is just a matter of letting things, and people go, to live your own life. Break the chains and release yourself. Forgiveness is beautiful.
“What the superior man seeks is in himself; what the small man seeks is in others” You can always point your finger to another person, to change him or to whish he had another personality. But you cannot change other people. You can only change yourself, the way you deal with events in your life, the way you are coping with difficult situations. Find it in you, not in others. Others come to you for a reason, for a lesson, not to be changed by you. You are your own self. You are capable of living your life and only you can find the way how to do so, in yourself. Not in others. You may look at other people, ask other people for inspiration, for advice, to be a soundboard.
But you need to find your own way. In yourself.
“Wherever you go, go with all your heart” This is obvious. But so obvious that it might be easy forgotten. I recently posted this this story on my timeline at Facebook. A story about how to ruin your life even without noticing that you are… It is wise to have a now and then meeting with yourself, to talk to, to talk with yourself about the goals in your life. Are you really following your heart? Are you really doing the best you can in your life? ‘Volg je hart, want dat klopt’ is a beautiful phrase in Dutch, which says: follow your heart, as it beats, follow your heart, it shows you where to go. Always follow your heart, even if it is very frightening. Because I know, it can be frightening. It sometimes shows you solutions which are scary… But follow your heart, it will show you the right way to live.
“Give instructions only to those people who seek knowledge after they have discovered their ignorance” Giving instructions, offering help to people who do not want to be helped, who do not want to listen is useless. You can open your mouth and give your opinion, but if the other one is not ready, or does not want to hear your opinion, just keep it for yourself. Arguing with people who are not interested in your point of view is useless and only takes away your energy. Wait for them to ask for your help. And let go….
“Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished” This one is a bit of a twist to me, as I even like the smallest things in life. Small events that pass in the day can turn out to be so big. A small thing, like looking at a tiny insect tapping to the window of a house in an unexpected moment, can give you big answers to important questions you have about life. Lots of tittle films and other stories are shared on social media to emphasize the fact that small things can turn out to be big. A small offer, a small gesture can become such an important event in life. I think we should never forget that. But only focussing on small advantages, which, in a twisted manner, can seem very big, but really are of none importance in your life in the end, is not good. Small, fast advantages, will keep your eyes away from the big things you otherwise might have accomplished.
The point I would like to emphasize here, is that big things might sometimes appear in a small package… 🙂
“If they spit at you behind your back, it means you’re ahead of them” And that is what we all should know and should have experienced. Let people spit behind your back. It is their inadequacy, not yours. You are doing things they are not able to do, and they will show their envy about this. Let them go. Live your life.
The most important lesson I kept in life is being able of letting other people go. To release them from my attendance in their lives, and to release me from their presence in mine. Sometimes you simply do not get along and you have to go separate ways to keep both your energy and happiness. Maybe life offers the two of you another opportunity to be together, after life learned his lessons to both of you, and may be not and in that case your lives will be lived seperately. Just live your life and keep the love in your heart. Life lives, and just go with it and make the best of it. Set your own goals and walk your path of life with love.
An other lesson I learned, was always to follow my heart. The trap of ‘destroying my life without even noticing that I was’ was a very hard and destructive lesson for me. I regularly have a meeting with myself, to check my heart and to follow it completely. With the ones I love and I care for.
These are my experiences. But if you feel the need to share your own point of view, if you have anything to add, or experiences which also explain these lessons, even if they are totally different from mine, I would be exited to hear them, so please do not hesitate to share them below.
Thank you so much.
Hans de Gans ♥
Source of the quotes: Bright Side.